Recently, in a series of blogs, I described some of the common anxiety disorders: panic disorder, specific phobias, social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Each of these disorders has specific criteria that have to be met in order to make a diagnosis. It can be helpful to have a name for the specific kind of struggle you are having with your anxiety.
But these labels can also become problematic.
These labels become problems when they move from describing something that is going on in you to describing something you have (I have social anxiety) or something you are (I am obsessive-compulsive). But the truth is there is much more to your life than having or being an anxiety disorder.
These labels also feed the idea that knowing more about your problem will help you solve it. Think about your own experience. When the anxiety showed up in your life, you probably did a lot of reading and investigating. You may have even found the diagnostic criteria for a specific disorder and decided that you have it. You may have read the latest research or tried some of the latest self-help techniques. But be honest. Has all of this knowledge and insight really helped you with your anxiety? Perhaps temporarily, but the truth is knowledge and insight doesn’t necessarily lead to change and relief.
All of this language about anxiety disorders and how to get rid of them contributes to the idea that intense anxiety and fear is bad. It is something that you should not have. It is a problem that has to be solved. These ideas are part of the five myths about anxiety and fear. In their book, The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety, John P. Forsyth and Georg H. Eifert describe these five myths.
Myth 1: Anxiety Problems are Biological and Hereditary
This myth shows up in statements like “Anxiety runs in my family” or “Anxiety is in my genes.” This is an idea that is popular in social culture and with some medical professionals. Yes, anxiety may “run in your family,” but it the result of learned behavior, not genes. You may also “inherit some predisposition to be anxious or afraid, just like you inherit predispositions to be outgoing, introverted, intelligent, muscular, or athletic. But inheriting a predisposition to be anxious is not the same thing as inheriting an anxiety disorder.”
Myth 2: Intense Anxiety is Abnormal
The truth is you need the capacity to feel anxiety. There is a place for normal anxiety and fear in your life. Intense fear and anxiety ready you for action when you are faced with a threatening situation. These feelings become a problem only when you have them when you are not at risk of being harmed. And when that happens, what do you do? You come up with all kinds of strategies to avoid or get rid of the anxiety; many of these strategies can make the anxiety worse.
The truth is intense anxiety is not a problem that has to be solved. It does not feel good, but it is normal. It is possible to live a meaningful life, even with the presence of anxiety.
Myth 3: Anxiety is a Sign of Weakness
Having anxiety does not mean that you have a defect in your personality or a flaw in your character. As we said in Myth 2, having struggles with feelings like anxiety is part of the human condition.
So why do so many people see anxiety as weakness? It comes from the tendency to compare yourself to others. You look at the people with whom you interact, and they seem to have their life together without the presence of any anxiety. However, if you were to follow any of these people around for 24 hours, you would see that they have their own set of unique struggles, because, like you, they are human.
Myth 4: To Live a Vital Life, You Must Manage Your Anxiety
One of the powerful messages society gives you is that physical and emotional pain is a barrier to leaving a vital life. With this belief, imagine what happens when any kind of painful emotion or disturbing thought shows up. If you don’t deal with it or get rid of it, it will rob you of the life you want to live. The strategies that people come up with to control the presence of anxiety are endless, and just like when you view anxiety as abnormal, many of these strategies can make the anxiety even more present in your life.
If you visit my anxiety treatment page, you will learn about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a counseling approach that give you the tools you need to develop a different relationship with your anxiety.