Dissociation is a common reaction to trauma, and yet, it is often misunderstood. If you have experienced dissociation, it can feel like your sense of self is getting lost.
Dissociation is not simply "spacing out" or daydreaming, although these are mild forms everyone may experience occasionally. For many, dissociation can be intrusive, distressing, and life-altering. It exists on a spectrum—from brief moments of absentmindedness to profound disruptions in memory, identity, and perception.
Here are some of the sensations that are part of dissociation:
· Feeling Disconnected from Reality: Objects, sounds, and people may seem distant, muted, or somehow unreal. It's as if a fog has descended, separating you from the world around you.
· Detachment from the Self: Some people describe looking in the mirror and not recognizing their own reflection or hearing their own voice and feeling as if it belongs to someone else. This is sometimes called depersonalization.
· Loss of Time: Minutes, hours, or even days may pass without conscious awareness. You might suddenly find yourself in a different place, with no memory of how you arrived there. You realize you’ve completed tasks with no recollection of doing so.
· Emotional Numbness: Your emotions may feel dulled or absent. It’s like your body and mind erect a protective barrier against pain or being overwhelmed. Joy, sadness, fear, and anger can all feel out of reach.
· Fragmented Thoughts and Identity: Your thoughts feel scattered, making it difficult to focus or make decisions. You may feel like there are different parts of yourself that have their own memories and feelings—sometimes described as “feeling like different people.”
· Out-of-Body Experiences: You might feel like you are observing yourself from outside your own body, watching events unfold from a distance.
· Altered Sense of Surroundings: The world may seem flat, two-dimensional, or dreamlike. Familiar places may feel foreign, and sounds may be muffled or distorted.
Dissociation is a coping mechanism in the face of overwhelming stress, trauma, or emotional pain. The mind disconnects to protect itself. As a short-term survival strategy, it can help you. However, when dissociation becomes chronic, it interferes with daily life and a sense of wholeness.
Common triggers for dissociation are:
· Childhood trauma or neglect
· Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual)
· Accidents or sudden loss
· Ongoing stress or anxiety
Dissociation can be disorienting and isolating. In school, work, or social settings, you may struggle to concentrate, remember instructions, or participate fully. Your relationships may suffer if loved ones misunderstand your “absent” behavior or attribute it to disinterest. The resulting shame, confusion, and frustration can compound the original distress, making it even more difficult to reach out for help.
Trauma therapy can help you move beyond dissociation and other symptoms of trauma
For example, it can help you build safety and trust. Therapy offers a chance to experience a safe, nonjudgmental space. People who dissociate learn from their painful experiences that it is not safe to feel or even be present. A therapeutic relationship can help rebuild that trust, in others and yourself.
You will learn some grounding techniques to help you reconnect with the present moment. You will learn how to focus on physical sensations, engage the senses, or practice mindful breathing. These practices anchor you to your body and environment.
Once you have this grounding, you can process the experience of your trauma. This is not going back and reliving the traumatic event. Instead, you will work through the difficult emotions and patterns of avoidance that were part of your response to trauma. I use approaches like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Internal Family Systems (IFS) to do this. You will learn how to express self-compassion, treating yourself with kindness and understanding.
My trauma treatment specialty page offers more information about how therapy can help you move beyond dissociation. You will not just learn how to cope. You will experience healing as you reconnect with yourself and participate fully in life.