Earlier I wrote a blog that talked about the difference between fear and anxiety (Fear and Anxiety: What are They?). I described how fear is focused on the present, a real threat that is right in front of you. It is fair to say that COVID-19 is more than right in front of us; it is all around us. Not just the spread of the virus but the media coverage about it.

One the significant barriers to getting beyond your anxiety is to frame it as something wrong with you that you have to fix, or a problem that you have to solve.  When you view anxiety this way, the only options you have are to avoid or fight off the thoughts and feelings that contribute to your anxiety.   And yet, the truth is everybody, everybody, experiences anxiety. 

There are two components that play a role in your anxiety: thoughts and feelings. In a previous post I considered the way our thinking can contribute to anxiety (Loosening the Grip of Your Mind’s Stories). In this post I want to consider our feelings. First of all, what are we really talking about when we consider feelings or emotions. Let’s take anxiety for example. When you say you are feeling anxious, what is happening? Emotions happen mostly in our bodies.

There are usually two components to your anxiety: thoughts and feelings. In this blog we will look at what to do with anxious thoughts. We will consider anxious feelings in a later blog.

In Oklahoma, the state where I live, we have some amazing sunsets. Over the last few weeks, several of my Facebook friends have posted some pictures of glorious sunsets (not so many sunrises…I wonder what that is about). It could be that the sunsets have been particularly brilliant; I like to think it is because the corona virus is keeping people at home and they are taking advantage of these amazing gifts nature is offering them.

Imagine that you aren’t satisfied with your job.  You have options.  You can quit your job and look for another, or you can get some training for a new direction in your career.   Or suppose that you have a close friend to whom you haven’t spoken in years.  You can reach out to them by phone, Facebook, or email.  You aren’t satisfied with your physical condition, so you join a gym, get a personal trainer, and start to work out.  All of these situations have something in common. You see something about your life that you want to change, you figure out what actions will help you with that change, and you do them.

To address a problem like anxiety, it is good to have a clear understanding of all of its components. Perhaps it sounds strange to talk about the components of anxiety; isn’t anxiety just a feeling we have. Well, feelings are one part of anxiety, but it has other elements as well. It is important have a deep understanding of the anatomy of anxiety so we know how to respond to it and treat it.

Fear and anxiety are a normal and natural part of living. We are born with the capacity to experience fear and anxiety. Of course, you may already know that since it seems you are living with these two feelings all the time. But what are fear and anxiety? How are they similar? How are they different? What role do they play in our lives?

Anxiety and stress are part of life, but in order to keep them from controlling our lives we must develop a new relationship with them. This new relationship happens by being aware of the stress and anxiety when it is actually happening, seeing what it looks and feels like and choosing a different response. Mindfulness is what helps us do that.

We go around appraising situations all the time: at home, at work, in the car, in our relationships, in social settings.  We aren’t aware of this appraising because most of these situations are within our normal range of experience.  But if we decide that a situation has some degree of danger to our security, or it’s something we can’t handle, our body goes into what has been called a “fight or flight” mode.  This is our bodies’ way of keeping us aware and alert so we can decide what to do in this threatening situation.