BLOG
When you are depressed, it is easy for your mind to produce automatic negative thoughts. It is like your mind gets stuck in a rut, and most of the thoughts that come to you are negative self-evaluations and self-judgments. It is like the depression places a filter on your mind, and the only thoughts that get through are negative ones.
PTSD stands for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, a psychological disorder caused by exposure to a traumatic event. When you hear the words “traumatic event,” you may think of horrible things that have happened to other people. So many of us have experienced a traumatic event. And yet, most of us do not have PTSD. What makes the difference? It is the impact of the event and how you respond to it that leads to PTSD.
One of the myths about anger is anger and aggression are instinctual to humans. When we buy into this myth, we are able to justify our anger and refuse to take responsibility for it. And when we combine that with another myth—that anger is the result of what someone has done to us—then this innate angry response is on the other person, not ourselves.
It is easy to get caught up in a mindset that sees the world as a hard place. This is especially true if you struggle with depression. It is common for people with depression to ruminate over all that is going wrong with their lives. This mindset leads you to have negative perceptions about yourself, your relationships, and the world around you.
In an earlier post I reflected on the place of values in relationships. Values are important because they capture how you want to be in the world. Values invite you to think about what matters most and what you want to stand for. Values also invite you to consider how you want to interact with others, how you want to be in relationships.
While anxiety is an emotion that seems to be problematic, even wrong, you have lots of people that will tell you that anger is normal and natural. After all, not everybody has anxiety or panic, but everybody gets angry. I would question that anxiety is a problematic emotion, but it is true that no one will go through life without emotional pain and anger.
Let’s begin with an exercise. Think about the worries and fears that drive your anxiety. When you have a sense of them, complete each of these statements with the first noun that comes to mind.
My worries and fears are like…
My responses to my worries and fears are like…
Looking back at the quote above, ask yourself: Did you select words that are fluid, soft, and gentle? If you struggle with anxiety, probably not.
When you have experienced trauma, it is easy to get caught up, even lost, in all of the thoughts and feelings associated with trauma. Of course, none of us do this on purpose or even consciously. It is not like you wake up in the morning and try to find ways to get sidetracked by all of these thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories. And when they do surface, you do all you can to push them back down or avoid them.
