You are experiencing an unhelpful level of stress. Distress is what we call it. It is a stress that can be so overwhelming that your performance in the anxiety-producing situation doesn’t go well.
So, how do you handle these negative thoughts that can lead to depression? Instead of eliminating them, you can learn ways to develop a different relationship with these thoughts.
Because it is a natural and powerful emotion that is often misunderstood, it is helpful to have some ways to develop a different relationship with your anger.
In his book, The Science of Trust, Dr. John Gottman says that both partners are emotionally available at the same time only about 9% of the time. This leaves a lot of opportunities for misunderstanding and conflict.
There is nothing wrong with striving for excellence, but perfectionism makes you a slave to success. No matter how well a situation turns out, it is hard to embrace and enjoy the outcome because your mind finds some way that it is not perfect.
Perfectionism is not really about doing something perfectly. It is about the feelings of self-worth you are striving for with a flawless performance. And yet, the standard of perfection that you carry around inside you keeps you from feeling any sense of accomplishment.
